Signs the Apocalypse is Near

The rumors are true. Pack your things and head for the hills. The apocalypse is coming. The end is near. The Metrostars are finally building themselves a stadium. For people who aren't fans of MLS, I'll fill you in on the history of this moribund sporting franchise.

A few years ago, ESPN created a giant list of the best and worst run sporting franchises in the United States. The Chicago Blackhawks of the NHL were dead last. However, had ESPN included MLS franchises, no doubt the Metrostars would have fallen even behind the lowly Blackhawks. You see, the Metrostars, who have been around since the inception of MLS, 1996, have never won any hardware. They've never won the U.S. Open Cup (although they at least advanced as far as the Final in 2003), they've never even advanced to the MLS Cup final (the only original MLS team, along with the Columbus Crew, FC Dallas, and the now-defunct Tampa Bay Mutiny to have not done so, but at least Columbus and Dallas have won the Open Cup), and the only piece of hardware they have won (I lied earlier) is the La Manga Cup, against such competition as Odd Greenland and Viking FK. Here is a team that's been maligned for years for such marketing campaigns as "Metro Playoff Fever" (as ridiculous as it sounds I assure you), and most recently Faith and Family Night. Now they have a stadium.

The Metrostars are an organization that have been in decline for years. Often criticized by some MLS fans for being "league darlings," their on-the-field results seem to indicate anything but, whether those allegations are true or not. They're on the outside-looking-in on a playoff spot right now and have a difficult schedule ahead of them. They've been drawing terrible crowds in the Meadowlands. Famed soccer commentator and former MLS coach Ray Hudson once said, "the devil lives in the Meadowlands." Perhaps that explains why the Metrostars are so bad. Now they have a stadium.

The scariest thing about all of this though isn't that the Metrostars will finally have their own stadium but that the entire $100 million bill is being financed by AEG itself. AEG, who currently own the Earthquakes (now the only AEG-owned franchise without a so-called Soccer Specific Stadium on the horizon) and have been trying to sell them, now can focus all their energy on precisely that task. It's up to Soccer Silicon Valley to now come up with an investor or local stadium plan or the Earthquakes are likely as good as gone.

However, on a happier note, and speaking of the U.S. Open Cup. Last night, in the round of sixteen, the Earthquakes defeated the Portland Timbers of USL-1 2-0. Now, the Earthquakes advance to the quarterfinals and will play rivals Los Angeles Galaxy at home on August 24. (Actually, the aforementioned Metrostars lost to the Rochester Rhinos of USL-1 3-1, ouch). If this team does end up moving, I hope they stick it to AEG and give the fans something to cheer for by trying to win the MLS Supporters Shield, the U.S. Open Cup, and MLS Cup.

P.S. That Zoffinger guy sounds like a total dick (see first article).